Wednesday, June 30, 2010

"Bickering" Blogfest Entry

Thank you to Kristen at "Take It As It Comes" for hosting this Blogfest. Following is a scene involving a bit of bickering between some of my characters. Hope you enjoy.

“Are you alright, M’lord?” Golan asked, “You look as though Hades has appeared to you.”
“I think I just want to go lie down for a while,” Caenus replied, coughing. “Should be pretty exciting tomorrow, eh?”
“I should say so.”
They strolled back to their lodging rooms.  Passing a taverna, Golan asked, “Do you want to pass time for a while in here, grab a little something to eat?”
“Not really. The last time we came here, trouble found me.”
“I know. Last night was wild. Say, where’d you disappear to last night anyway? I turned around and you were gone.”
Caenus’ eyes began to sting. “I just stepped out to clear my mind and soothe my lungs with clean air,” Caenus said, thinking back to what really had happened.  After strolling the city streets, the young men finally arrived at the lodging rooms.
Inside the room, Caenus decided that if he could not tell his best friend, whom could he tell.  Besides, as he began to feel the strength of his convictions building within him, he knew that honor lay in declaring himself to his friend.
Breaking the silence, Caenus turned to his friend and declared, “It was me.”
“Who? What? What was you?”
“Today… Makedon’s challenge today… it was me he was referring to.”
“Impossible!” Golan exclaimed. “I was with you all night, I’ll stand up for you, M’lord.”
“Not all night… Do you remember when I said I stepped out for a moment?” Caenus asked with his heart and soul consumed with guilt. “Well, I talked to Adriande… er, Kalliste behind a temple last night.”
“Who is Adriande?” asked Golan, trying to piece it all together.
Caenus explained, “Adriande is Kalliste, and Kalliste is Adriande. They are one and the same.  I first met her at the Games in Corinth where she lied to me, telling me her name was Adriande. I really felt as though our souls meshed, but then she disappeared. I’ve no idea why I never told you of this before. I guess I thought that I would never see her again and that it wouldn’t matter… and then I saw her…”
“Yesterday, in the great hall at the feast,” Golan finished his friend’s sentence.
“Yes,” Caenus responded with a drooped demeanor.
“Ahhh, my friend… she was breathtaking yesterday, was she not? Sooo, you met her in Corinth? When did you find time?”
“It’s complicated… an much to cumbersome…”
Golan remained silent while his mind searched rapidly to fetch any memories of the girl at the games. None surfaced.
“So then, when I saw her last night, many dormant emotions came rushing back.  Without a doubt, Golan, I have fallen for her. Besides, she does not love him.  It was all arranged… their marriage. She does not love him!”
“Did you ever conceive of the possibility that she could have been playing games with you both, fully expecting this day to arrive?” Golan questioned.
“Oh no, not her. You don’t know her as I do! You have not talked to her!” responded Caenus forcefully.
“Women are devious.  She already lied to you once.  Wha…”
“She does not love him!!” Caenus shouted.
“She really set you up, my friend.  She has your loin cloth hanging on her wall and you do not even realize it.”
“You’re jealous aren’t you?” Caenus snapped. “You can’t conceive that a girl as beautiful as Kalliste could be interested in me!”
            “She does appear as a goddess, my friend…”
            “You are jealous!”
“What you see is a loyal friend who places no value on the lady companions of his friends.  I can’t believe you would accuse me of such.” Golan paused. “As a matter of fact, where was she today? Who should say she did not go back and tell Makedon everything just to ignite the flames of revenge? Did you ever consider that?”
Tears threatened to form in Caenus’ eyes, but could not push past the rage. Waves of anger and hurt washed over him at the possible truth of Golan’s words.  What bound Caenus like leather straps across his body, was the fact that he did love her… no matter what.
The two friends went to their separate corners, the chasm between them expanding. Golan stormed from the room, angered that his friend would ever choose a girl over his loyal friendship. He walked the streets until nightfall. Finding Poseidon’s Poison again, he dipped inside to soak his frustration in wine.

8 comments:

  1. Ah, yes, two friends bickering. This was done great and I loved (as most bickering is)how the one character seems to be in complete denial and the other is trying to make him realize the cold, hard truth. :)

    Loved it!

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  2. As the immortal Shakespeare once said, "Bros before hoes." Okay, maybe he didn't say that, but still. Good setup and nice back and forth. I feel like you've established a lot about both characters in this brief exchange.

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  3. I loved the bickering. Trust a woman to come between two friends eh? LOL Nicely done!

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  4. I like the way this built from quite a friendly start to something more divisive.

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  5. Excellent scene! I want to know more about this devious woman who has weaseled her way between two friends. Thank you for participating!

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  6. A lot of underlying story here - and in the Secret entry also. The two seem to be extensions of each other.

    You have awesome characters. They are vivid, and well developed. Excellent dialogue, very emotive.

    Both entries well done.

    ..........dhole

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  7. I'm visiting from the "Share Your Darlings" blogfest but I definitely enjoyed your sample from the Bickering blogfest, too. I loved the line "she has your loincloth hanging on the wall" - AWESOME.

    I love your "About Me" too - "I can help you find the perfect car and describe a perfect sunset." GRIN!

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  8. Hi Christopher, how are things going? Just stopping by to see if you're still posting for my Milestones blogfest tomorrow.

    I hope all is going well for you.

    ........dhole

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