Friday, February 19, 2010

A Mad-Lib Rejection Letter

As a new author, you will undoubtedly receive a rejection letter or two as you send your baby out into the wilderness to get sniffed, and sometimes eaten, by the wolves who lurk just beyond the trees. They're not really wolves, they simply receive such a high volume of submissions, that they can sometimes be quite terse in their response. This usually comes in the form of the long celebrated Form Rejection letter. If legend holds true, even the magical JK Rowling received a rejection letter or 20+ as she shopped poor Harry Potter's Sorcerer's Stone around. It happens. And since it happens, you might as well have some fun with it before you hunker down to actually fix the manuscript that failed to find a home.

At the behest of a fellow author, Portia Sisco I have Mad-Libbed a Form Rejection Letter. Enjoy.

Dear Chris,
Thank you for offering me the opportunity to STUFF your manuscript, QUIVER OF ARTEMIS. Unfortunately your RANCID story isn't for me. I REGURGITATED your first chapter and was impressed by your GORGEOUS use of words. Best of luck in future endeavors.

The Editor

P.S. I apologize for the condition of your submission. My WOLVERINE YELLED at it, so it may be a little damp.