Monday, February 20, 2012

First Campaigner Challenge- 4th Platform Building Campaign

The time has come for my First Campaigner Challenge, woot!!! The Challenge is:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!
So, here's my entry...

Shadows crept across the wall of the bathhouse. Steam whispered stories of heroes past. Of sandals and swordfights. Of battles waged and lives lost. Doubt crept in. The warrior I was to face had ended the careers of gladiators far greater than me. His record was pristine. It had to be, for a single blemish meant death. No standing gladiator had any losses. Losers were escorted to Hades on a one-way chariot ride.

I leaned my head back against the marble cradle, allowing the steam to open my pores. But the shadows continued to creep. They slid up my sides, encircling my neck, strangling me. Goosebumps rose on my arms. I couldn’t breathe. Horrific images flashed into my mind. And then everything faded.

72 comments:

  1. Whoa that was intense!! Great job!! I loved this line, "But the shadows continued to creep. They slid up my sides, encircling my neck, strangling me." Loved it!

    I'm entry #19

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  2. You really captured the essence of a gladiator's life well, I think. Excellent narrative and imagery. Nice one! :)

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  3. I really love the way you have created your setting and scene with so few words. You've also given us an in depth look into your character without being 'telly'. Great job!

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  4. Sounds lie the great start to a story, I wanted to read more!

    (BTW, you may not know that you have word verification on your blog. It can be really hard for people trying to visit lots of blogs to fill these out all the time. Just thought I would let you know so that you can consider removing it (blogger has a great spam folder!) Thank you !)

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    1. Thanks. Ha! I should write more on it, huh?

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  5. Is that Bath??? I've been there and it looks like it...

    I looooved this! Loved the setting, the tension. Verrry fun---just "liked" it ;)

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  6. Wow... very beautiful! At first it has a poetic rhythm to it and that just pulled me in. I loved the descriptions! Great job!

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  7. Hello from a fellow NC resident! Great job and beautiful imagery.

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  8. "Steam whispered stories of heroes past." I love that line! Great work, Christopher. I'm voting for you. :)

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  9. Nice blog! Happy to meet you through the 4th campaign!

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  10. Great job! I'm not a campaigner, but you do rock with your words! ;)

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  11. Yeah.. another fighting story in the 4th campaign. Really enjoyed your story, LOVE this sort, (obviously). Check out my old warrior prose under #57, (Graphophobia).

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  12. That was intense! You had great imagery! Nice job :)

    I'm #37

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  13. Wow! I love the whole gladiator scene. (Hubby & I watched Spartacus & Ben Hur, today, too!) And the photo is perfect for your story. Great job!

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  14. Definitely liked this bit! Especially since I haven't read a tale about gladiators in some time, I'd love to read the rest of this!

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  15. Lyrical and lovely, a strong entry! Very nice job :)

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  16. Ooh, sounds like a supernatural twist at the end there. Steam whispered stories... Love it!

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  17. Very intense and intriguing. Great job!

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  18. Stopping by from the campaign and am your new follower. I take it you love Greek mythology? Fun! I wanted to know if the 'shadows' were metaphorical or real...or just your MC's imagination.

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  19. Nice! Great job! If this is your normal writing voice, I definitely want to check out your stuff!

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  20. Interesting picture you put with this. nice job. Mine is # 71

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  21. Wicked cool indeed! You have my vote, that was great! I have to admit I almost want him to lose just to see what he would do once he got ushered into Hades.

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    1. HA! Want to see him lose... you bad girl!! Thank you.

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  22. Ooo, great job with your entry! I love gladiators and such. My favorite line is: Losers were escorted to Hades on a one-way chariot ride.

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  23. He's not the only one with goosebumps! I totally got a chill. Very evocative - well done!

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  24. A great look at the chilling life gladiators led...for however long they could. Well done! I'm number 112.

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  25. Loved the visuals on the opening lines "Steam whispered stories of heroes past." Very visual and a pleasure to read.

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  26. Great job! I like this a lot. A unique take on the challenge.

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  27. Great writing. You managed to include so much and it flowed naturally. By the end, I was dying for more to the story.

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  28. Love the time period you chose and the story you told!

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  29. The mention of Hades completely hooked me in! The image really goes well with the story. Great job!

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  30. Very vivid! I loved the line about losers being escorted to Hades on a one-way chariot ride. Great stuff!

    I'm a new follower and entry #96

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  31. Odd as this sounds, I've never thought of a gladiator with pores before. Probably this is the first ever gladiator who has considered his pores.

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  32. Came here from the campaign, you focus on ancient Greece? How cool. I love that country.

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  33. Awesome story. You have great imagery in this story.

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  34. Well done, Colby, er Chris : ) Nice strong declarative sentences.

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  35. It was over very quick - a great effect created in that short space. I think terror got the better of him. Nicely done!

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  36. For such a short space, this sure packed a punch! Great job!

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  38. I like how you kept up the suspense! The David and Goliath dynamics were very apparent. Good stuff!

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  39. Wow - this was great! I'd love to read more! :)

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  40. Wow! Just wow! Blown away by how much intensity you managed to pack into 200 words. Well done Chris!

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  41. Nice to meet you. I am from the campaign, dropping in for the first time. Your piece is great! I am a new follower!

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  42. Great entry! I definitely felt like I was that gladiator.

    New follower

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  43. Love your entry! The imagery, and historic content--love it!

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  44. I really enjoyed this, you've managed to say a lot in a short space!

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