Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:So, here's my entry...
- end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
- include the word "orange" in the story
- write in the same genre you normally write
- make your story 200 words exactly!
Shadows crept across the wall of the bathhouse. Steam whispered stories of heroes past. Of sandals and swordfights. Of battles waged and lives lost. Doubt crept in. The warrior I was to face had ended the careers of gladiators far greater than me. His record was pristine. It had to be, for a single blemish meant death. No standing gladiator had any losses. Losers were escorted to Hades on a one-way chariot ride.
I leaned my head back against the marble cradle, allowing the steam to open my pores. But the shadows continued to creep. They slid up my sides, encircling my neck, strangling me. Goosebumps rose on my arms. I couldn’t breathe. Horrific images flashed into my mind. And then everything faded.
Whoa that was intense!! Great job!! I loved this line, "But the shadows continued to creep. They slid up my sides, encircling my neck, strangling me." Loved it!
ReplyDeleteI'm entry #19
Thanks.
DeleteYou really captured the essence of a gladiator's life well, I think. Excellent narrative and imagery. Nice one! :)
ReplyDeleteI really love the way you have created your setting and scene with so few words. You've also given us an in depth look into your character without being 'telly'. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteSounds lie the great start to a story, I wanted to read more!
ReplyDelete(BTW, you may not know that you have word verification on your blog. It can be really hard for people trying to visit lots of blogs to fill these out all the time. Just thought I would let you know so that you can consider removing it (blogger has a great spam folder!) Thank you !)
Thanks. Ha! I should write more on it, huh?
DeleteIs that Bath??? I've been there and it looks like it...
ReplyDeleteI looooved this! Loved the setting, the tension. Verrry fun---just "liked" it ;)
Thanks.
DeleteWow... very beautiful! At first it has a poetic rhythm to it and that just pulled me in. I loved the descriptions! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHello from a fellow NC resident! Great job and beautiful imagery.
ReplyDeleteHeyyyyy! *waves from Coastal NC!!
DeleteWow..this is beautiful!
ReplyDelete"Steam whispered stories of heroes past." I love that line! Great work, Christopher. I'm voting for you. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your vote!
DeleteNice blog! Happy to meet you through the 4th campaign!
ReplyDeleteGreat job! I'm not a campaigner, but you do rock with your words! ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Jack!
DeleteYeah.. another fighting story in the 4th campaign. Really enjoyed your story, LOVE this sort, (obviously). Check out my old warrior prose under #57, (Graphophobia).
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteThat was intense! You had great imagery! Nice job :)
ReplyDeleteI'm #37
Wow! I love the whole gladiator scene. (Hubby & I watched Spartacus & Ben Hur, today, too!) And the photo is perfect for your story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks!
DeleteDefinitely liked this bit! Especially since I haven't read a tale about gladiators in some time, I'd love to read the rest of this!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteLyrical and lovely, a strong entry! Very nice job :)
ReplyDeleteNicely done! I enjoyed it. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. Nice to meet you!
DeleteOoh, sounds like a supernatural twist at the end there. Steam whispered stories... Love it!
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks.
DeleteVery intense and intriguing. Great job!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from the campaign and am your new follower. I take it you love Greek mythology? Fun! I wanted to know if the 'shadows' were metaphorical or real...or just your MC's imagination.
ReplyDeleteThx! And thx for following too!
DeleteNice! Great job! If this is your normal writing voice, I definitely want to check out your stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks!!!
DeleteInteresting picture you put with this. nice job. Mine is # 71
ReplyDeleteThx!
DeleteWicked cool indeed! You have my vote, that was great! I have to admit I almost want him to lose just to see what he would do once he got ushered into Hades.
ReplyDeleteHA! Want to see him lose... you bad girl!! Thank you.
DeleteOoo, great job with your entry! I love gladiators and such. My favorite line is: Losers were escorted to Hades on a one-way chariot ride.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much. Glad you liked it!
DeleteHe's not the only one with goosebumps! I totally got a chill. Very evocative - well done!
ReplyDeleteA great look at the chilling life gladiators led...for however long they could. Well done! I'm number 112.
ReplyDeleteLoved the visuals on the opening lines "Steam whispered stories of heroes past." Very visual and a pleasure to read.
ReplyDeleteVery strong opening.Good entry.
ReplyDelete#83
Thanks!
DeleteWow! Strong visuals.
ReplyDeleteThx!
DeleteGreat job! I like this a lot. A unique take on the challenge.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteGreat writing. You managed to include so much and it flowed naturally. By the end, I was dying for more to the story.
ReplyDeleteLove the time period you chose and the story you told!
ReplyDeleteThe mention of Hades completely hooked me in! The image really goes well with the story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it!
DeleteVery vivid! I loved the line about losers being escorted to Hades on a one-way chariot ride. Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteI'm a new follower and entry #96
Thanks Nancy. And thanks for following!!
DeleteOdd as this sounds, I've never thought of a gladiator with pores before. Probably this is the first ever gladiator who has considered his pores.
ReplyDeleteCame here from the campaign, you focus on ancient Greece? How cool. I love that country.
ReplyDeleteYes! Greece is a phenomenal subject!
DeleteAwesome story. You have great imagery in this story.
ReplyDeleteWell done, Colby, er Chris : ) Nice strong declarative sentences.
ReplyDeleteInteresting.
ReplyDeleteIt was over very quick - a great effect created in that short space. I think terror got the better of him. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteFor such a short space, this sure packed a punch! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI like how you kept up the suspense! The David and Goliath dynamics were very apparent. Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteWow - this was great! I'd love to read more! :)
ReplyDeleteWow! Just wow! Blown away by how much intensity you managed to pack into 200 words. Well done Chris!
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you. I am from the campaign, dropping in for the first time. Your piece is great! I am a new follower!
ReplyDeleteGreat entry! I definitely felt like I was that gladiator.
ReplyDeleteNew follower
Love your entry! The imagery, and historic content--love it!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this, you've managed to say a lot in a short space!
ReplyDelete